NBA Draft 1st Round Diary - Brendan's Take

7:16 - Greg Oden's mom does the mom thing, licks her fingers and wipes off Oden's cheek. Very cute.

7:19 - Greg Oden and Mike Conley need to never dance again. That was embarrassing for both the league and Ohio State.

7:20 - Kevin Durant's suit consists of a black blazer, pink undershirt, and an orange tie. Whoever dressed him should be fired, and if it was his mom did, shame on her.

7:20 - Joakim Noah is now officially the Dhani Jones of the NBA with that ridiculous bow tie.

7:21 - The Yi Jialian camp looks so out of place. No one is talking, smiling, or even moving.

7:23 - Rachel Nichols is really hot.

7:26 - Quote of the draft brought to you by Jay Bilas, "NBA executives are excited he (Yi) has talent". Pure gold.

7:30 - The Blazers are so sure of their pick that their draft camp looked like a freeze frame.

7:32 - David Stern does his intro speech and I almost fell asleep.

7:33 - Why is it taking the Blazers so long to make the Oden pick? There isn't any suspense here. Everyone knows who they are taking. The Blazers officially make the Greg Oden pick at 2:21 into their 5 minutes. Shocking.

7:35 - News Flash! Greg Oden uses hand sanitizer.

7:39 Mike Tirico name drops Bill Russell. We are very impressed Mike.

7:42 - The Sonics just took advantage of Boston and got the 5th pick (Jeff Green), Wally Sczerbiak, and Delonte West for Ray Allen and the 35th pick (Glen Davis).

7:45 - Kevin Pritchard looks like Jude Law from AI. It's really creeping me out.

7:46 - And the Atlanta Hawks select yet another power forward, AL Horford. Mike Conley is now guaranteed to become an all-star point guard. See Chris Paul and Deron Williams.

7:49 - Stuart Scott makes another bad joke when sending it back to Mike Tirico. Stay tuned for more of these.

7:51 - The Grizzlies take soon to be all-star point guard Mike Conley.

7:53 - Justin makes the comment, "His face looks weird" when Mike Conley comes on the screen. I'm glad to have him around to make these insightful comments.

7:54 - Why didn't anyone draft Mike Conley Sr.? After watching that video of him doing the MJ dunk there's no doubt Conley Jr. is going to be a star in this league.

8:03 - Yi Jianlian the 19/23 year old center goes to the Bucks. Lucky for us ESPN provides us with the information we need to know and informs us that Yi attended the Pirates 3 and Shrek 3 premieres.

8:06 - The most awkward Stuart Scott interview ever. I can't understand a word Yi is saying. And cue up another bad Stuart Scott joke.

8:08 - Justin, "There should be 3 basketball instead of 4." Commenting on the basketball in front of the desk of Mike Tirico and company.

8:09 - And the follow up, "They aren't even even."

8:10 - The Wolves select Corey Brewer and Kevin Garnett has yet to be moved.

8:11 - Even during the NBA Draft Dick Vitale has unlimited energy. Why isn't he on this 4 man panel?

8:12 - More vital info from ESPN, Corey Brewer stripped and picked tobacco with his dad. Awesome.

8:16 - Rachel Nichols is still gorgeous.

8:17 - Brandan Wright is picked by the Bobcats and weighs as much as my leg does. Don't these college kids get to eat in school? (Update) The Bobcats have a deal on the table to send Brandan Wright to the Warriors for Jason Richardson. Don't do it Mike, don't do it. (Update #2) The trade is now official. Michael Jordan enters the Terrible GM realm currently inhabited by Kevin McHale and Billy King.

8:20 - Shocking, no witty comment from Stuart when sending it back to Tirico. Thank god.

8:23 - Joakim Noah has a hot mom and goes to the Bulls.

8:26 - Stuart Scott informs us that Noah uses Bumble and Bumble shampoo for his hair. Thanks for the insight Stuart.

8:30 - Justin, "Is Gilbert Arenas under 30?"

8:32 - I call the Spencer Hawes pick to the Kings. Alex is here to vouch for me.

8:33 - "This is still a skills game and he has skills." Where does Jay Bilas come up with this crap?

8:34 - Stuart Scoot drops some more knowledge by saying that Hawes likes politics. Thanks Stuart.

8:37 - The Hawks select Acie Law instead of taking Mike Conley at the 3 pick. They will regret this.

8:39 - The Hawks new uniforms are ugly.

8:41 - Billy King again gets nothing accomplished in the way of trades, reported by Sal Pal.

8:45 - And the Sixers take......Thaddeus Young?.....What the hell? What happened to Al Thornton and Julian Wright? I'm shocked.

8:51 - The Hornets take Julian Wright and Sixers fans are still agonizing over the Young pick.

8:53 - Jay Bilas repeats himself way too much. FYI, Julian Wright, power forward by day, bowler by night. ESPN finds the dumbest stuff when doing these kids backgrounds. I mean who cares that he bowls? Really, is that pertinent information that I need to know? Just stop it.

8:55 - Why is Stuart Scott dogging Mehment Okur? Did he become the new Rash Nesterovic.?

8:57 - The Clippers take Al Thornton and Sixers fans begin plotting the assassination of Billy King.

8:59 - Billy King assassination imminent.

9:00 - Stuart Scott had to bring up the Tar Heels/Blue Devils rivalry with Jay Bilas. He does this every year.

9:03 - Rodney Stuckey goes to Detroit and Bilas won't shut up about his athleticism. What does Bilas know about athleticism? He's white and slow.

9:06 - Stuart Scott compares Stuckey to Dwayne Wade.........really Stuart, Dwayne Wade huh?

9:09 - The Wizards take Nick Young and don't address their need for low post scoring. Sometime I wonder how much better a GM I could be than some of these actual GM;s.

9:12 - During Stuart Scott's interview with Nick Young I swear Stuart was going to plant a kiss on him. He just kept inching closer and closer. Creepy....

9:13 - Isiah Thomas makes his best decision as a Gm by acquiring Zach Randolph and getting rid of Steve Francis. Perhaps this is when Thomas turns the corner and becomes a decent GM?

9:16 - The Charles Barkley and Dwayne Wade T-Mobile commercials are gold.

9:21 - The Warriors pick the guy with the funniest name in the draft, Mario Belinelli. I want to trademark "Nelli's Beli" immediately before anyone else takes it.

9:25 - Jermaine O'Neal for Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom is ont he table for the Lakers. If the Lakers indeed go ahead with this trade we will see the LA riots again. Does the team even get better with this trade? I don't think so.

9:29 - The Lakers pick Javaris Crittenton......(insert cricket noise)

9:31 - Justin fakes laughing during a Barkley and Wade commercial and everyone calls him out on it.

9:34 - The Heat pick Jason Smith. His picture reminds me of Michael Doleac for some reason.

9:38 - 40 seconds til meltdown.

9:40 - Huh? I like this pick. Did I just say that? I really liked Jason Smith in college. I can't believe I'm this excited about a Sixers trade/pick in a long time.

9:44 - Justin quote, "His face looks like a face".

9:46 - The Bobcats just took my player in the draft, Jared Dudley.

9:51 - It's official, I hate Knicks fans.

9:52 - Jay Bilas makes up another basketball term to describe NBA prospects, "second jump ability". Is this like a double jump that you can do in video games?

9:56 - The Suns take Rudy Fernandez in hopes he will be come Manu Ginobli 2.0

10:01 - Justin says, "No one selected Josh McFarlane yet." "You mean Josh McRoberts?"

10:02 - We have officially begun rooting for McRoberts to be taken before Billy King does.

10:04 - The Jazz take Morris Almond whose picture looked like James Brown's mugshot.

10:09 - The Rockets take Aaron Brooks and Josh McRoberts is still on the board. We are terrified.

10:15 - Kevin Durant, Rashard Lewis, and Jeff Green.......Wow......It's a good time to be a Sonics fan.

10:18 - The Pistons take Aaron Afflalo and according to Bilas he's very strong and reiterated that only about 9 times.

10:22 - Alex sees the "Bronx is Burning" promo and says "I wish the Bronx were really burning."

10:23 - Still rooting for McRoberts to be picked before King gets a chance too.

10:23 - The Spurs shockingly take another foreign player, Tiago Splitter.

10:30 - Josh McRoberts still on the board as the Suns select Alando Tucker.

10:32 - Awaiting the imminent Josh McRoberts pick.

10:33 - The fact that Dick Vitale hasn't taken Jay Bilas' spot yet during the NBA draft kills me. I cannot stand Bilas at all. Much like Jay Mariotti, Jay Bilas grinds my gears.

10:36 - And Billy King decides not to take a Duke product this draft and everyone in Philadelphia breathes a collective sigh of relief.

Thank you for reading East Coast Bias' first NBA 1st Round Draft Diary. Expect more of the same each and every NBA draft.